Well, parents of teens, what do you think of that one? Are there really benefits to failure? Can you really go there and let your teen fail and find out? Can you go there in your own life and take risks and find out? There is one thing that I have learned- the hard way- from parenting and that is...
There is nothing more excruciating than watching your child struggle and suffer, not knowing the outcome for them.
I don't know about you but I am hard wired to try to make everything all right with my kids. It takes a courageous parent to stand and watch a struggle and let the consequences fall. J.K.Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, spoke at the commencement at Harvard last summer. The Benefits of Failure was the title of her speech. I would highly recommend you take the 10 minutes to listen to her.
She talks about her life after college and before her phenomenal success as a time where she had "failed on an epic scale". "Rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I re-built my life."
Do not get me wrong. I do intervene, at times, when the consequences are high with my children and there is a lesson to be learned in other ways. But I do wonder if we parents are failing at teaching our kids to how to fail.
Rowling says, "It is impossible to live without failure at something unless you live so cautiously that you might not have lived at all. In which case you fail by default."
"The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from set backs means that you are ever after secure in your ability to survive." That is sweet. That is what this parenting gig is all about.
I would love to leave you wondering about this. Another question would be,
What are the fringe benefits to you, the parent, of not allowing your child to fail?
Sending my best to you,
Anne
Ps You can go to my web site, www.annejolles.com and read my article entitled, "Dare To Suck" 5 Power Rules For Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone
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