We went visiting colleges yesterday. It was fun. It is the only time lately that I am alone with my teen for any extended period when we are both awake. Four hours locked in a car- quality face time... sort of.
You have to have thick skin as a parent of a teen today. You have to get used to the fact that if they can't stand you, then you are doing something right. You have to get used to the fact that they have another whole life and conversation going on as you talk to them... their thumbs are flying as they text message. My daughter actually cracks up frequently from the messages she receives during our conversations. She is having a parallel conversation with a friend. I think a lot of what she is laughing about is, what a total geek I am. Of course it did not help when she went to grab her suitcase at the hotel after our 4 hour ride and she exclaimed, "Mom, there is still a bag of groceries here and there is orange juice and melted ice cream in it!" Ooops! A small mistake- no one was hurt! That incident got texted to at least 5 of her friends within moments of the ridiciulously embarassing discovery!
And I don't get any credit for driving 5 hours, finding the college and hotel with no problems. That somehow is deleted from the text "My mother is a geek" conversation.
Before we entered the college admissions hall I had to take an oath that I would not be THE parent asking the drug and alcohol policy or if the bath rooms were co-ed. "No problem." I knew that the room was full of paranoid parents and they would get to it without my help. And I was right.
It is actually quite humorous to sit back and just watch the whole college admissions process. Here we parents sit, putting our retirements down as a payment and hearing, "Every year it gets harder to get in here and this year is going to be the most competitive with the most amount of applicants." And then I wonder, "Why do these colleges look like resorts?" Everyone says they have to to stay competitive. I think, "Well, drop some of the amenities and drop the price and watch us get really competitive!"
Empty nest syndrome... I am practicing the antidote tonight with my husband as we dream about traveling someday again- like freshman year in college. Don't get me wrong, I will miss my daughter. I adore her even with all this loving and letting go stuff going on. But somehow I think I am going to make it through the empty nest syndrome to the got a life again syndrome. I just won't be able to afford to leave my house!
Sending my best to you,
And remember that laughing is a good thing- better than crying!
Anne
Ps I am having a special offer for parents of teens -
My book,
"Keeping Your Sanity While Loving and Letting Go of Your Teen" and the accompanying CD of the same name
is offered to you at a special back to school price of $19.99 for both. You can check these out at my website www.annejolles.com or at this page dedicated to the book: http://www.annejolles.com/books/sanity.php?PHPSESSID=53222b1d739e4fb6f12e0103f6e067e9
Normally the price for the book and the CD is $27.00. I guarantee you will laugh and maybe not cry but it will definitely get you thinking! Email me at abjcoach@comcast.net and we will set you up and get it in the mail to you!
