Drive Through Parenting Wisdom

This is What Is Possible for You... YouTube Video

Parents of teens can be a tired, broke, weary bunch...  We all keep getting up everyday and putting our little feet on  the floor, doing the best we can and doing it all over again...  Sometimes, it can get old.  Sometimes we forget why we signed up for this job AND  sometimes it is great.  Some of us get an easier ride than others even though I think it probably evens out over time.  So, what do we do to connect with what is important every day... light that spark of inspiration that ties us with being great parents?

We have to figure out ways to find joy in each day.  Sometimes joy comes and finds us and that is good.  Basically, it is our job to make it happen...

Here is one guy who knows how to connect with joy...This is another YouTube video well worth the 3 minutes.

After watching it simply state, "I am going to enjoy today."

I am going to dance into the kitchen for another cup of tea...

Ciao,

Anne

Willie's World... A Cartoon for Parents of Teens

Where are you growling in your life?

Do you believe all that new age stuff about:

What you put out to the world, you attract back to you?

I know for me, my growl usually appears when I let others step over my boundaries... or I think others are stepping over the boundaries with my kids...  Watch out!

What brings out the pit bull parent in you? What are you growling about in your home that needs to be said- in words?

Gee, this all sounds so easy.

For those who are new, Willie is our family dog...  and sometimes it feels like I am the one on the other end of the leash,

Ciao,

Anne

E is for Embrace... The 5th Step in the G.R.A.C.E. process... Perspectives

What do you see in this photo?

A pest that might poop on your patio furniture? OR

A magnificent creature allowing you the opportunity to gaze for a brief moment on their awkward beauty?

What you see, depends on your perspective.  Both can be right... and depending on which one you choose to be in... to embrace... will determine your actions, your relationships and the outcomes. 

When I talk to parents of teens, I hear the entire spectrum from being dug into their current attitude and perspective and defending it... to total confusion about which attitude and perspective is appropriate. 

"Let me tell a story:

Three laborers were approached by a villager.  "What are you doing?" the villager asked.

And the first laborer said, "I am just earning my living."

The second laborer said, "I am laying bricks." 

And the third laborer said, "I am building a cathedral.""  from "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

Which attitudes are you embracing as a parent of a teen and young adult? 

• How are your thoughts and perspectives a reflection of your fears and the limitations you see in your child?  your home?  your world?
• What new perspectives are you willing to EMBRACE?"
• If you were to stop bracing against 'IT' with your teen, what would be possible?
  So many of we parents of teens really hang on the extremes of perspectives...  What if you could go to the bigger picture?  What if you could go to "What is possible from here?"

Thanks to my husband, Jon, who saw the beauty in this moment when he was visiting his Mom in Florida and ran and grabbed his camera...  WOW!

What is possible in your life and in your teen's life if you spread your wings and embrace 'IT'?

or if you allow them to spread their wings?

Just some thoughts... we don't want you going to sleep on this beautiful summer day,

Ciao,

Anne

PS  An eerie thing just happened.  In between finishing this post and actually publishing it I had to take my daughter somewhere.  When I got back, my son was here and I kept thinking of how I could take on a new perspective in our conversation.  I said , "Let's sit down and talk outside here on this beautiful day.."  He looked in the garage and grabbed some beach chairs and we sat and talked....  I tried to do most of the listening.   And I look up and flying extremely low right over the drive way and right above our heads is a HERON just like the one above!  And I do not live in the Everglades...  I live in Boston!  Grace...

PPS  If you are curious about the "G.R.A.C.E." then scroll down the left hand column of this site and Go to Categories.   "G.R.A.C.E." is archived there for you to explore and read. Thanks!

Even "The Fonz" Has Some Words of Wisdom For Parents of Teens...

Henry Winkler, father of three says about parenting his teenagers...

"You know what I learned to do? I learned to shut up. I used to talk so much, thinking I was passing on these important lessons. I'd tell my son Max, "Sit down at your desk. You can't stand and do homework. You can't lie on your bed and do homework. You can't listen to music and do homework." But when I calmed down, the grades were there. He was standing at his desk, he was lying on his bed, he was listening to music, and he was thriving. I'd been giving him advice I'd heard all my life, but it turned out not to be true."

This bit of wisdom was taken from The AARP Magazine, article entitled "50 Things To Know by 50".  It is a good reminder to listen to ourselves...  I wonder what percent of what we say is actually heard by our older children?  We probably all agree that the percentage of what is listened to is far less than what actually comes out of our mouth...  Makes sense to shut up a little more. 

Thanks Fonz,

Anne

PS Have you seen the coffee mug that I designed?  It is entitled, "Buzz Off and Leave Me Alone".  I thought I would mention it because it is on this "Shuttin' Up" theme...  You can purchase the mug by scrolling down the left hand column of this site and clicking on the site to purchase.  They make great presents!  Everyone in my husbands office asked for one and got one for the holidays!  They come in handy and they are a nice big size!

Ciao!

Well, We Survived Another Father's Day...

I hate Father's Day...

I hate Mother's Day...

And I like being a parent {on most days}.  And my husband is a wonderful father.  And I just tank out on both of those days.

I wish they were called...  "Happy It's Just Another Day"  That way I could escape all those expectations that can never be met.  And the mandate would be:"Go do whatever you want all day."  Now that would be some fantastic Mother's Day and Father's Day!  And there is a trap there... That does not mean you have to go and do Father or Mother things. It means that you really get to do anything that you want- all day.  Forget the cards and hot dogs.  {How many father's ended up at the grill cooking on Sunday?}

My husband saw that familiar look on my face the day before Father's Day of, "Oh crap, we didn't get you anything good for Father's Day."  He tried to rescue me by saying, "If you need any ideas then you could always buy me some sandals...  I need some sandals."  So, I said, "Then go buy the sandals that you like and that fit you the best."  He totally agrees with me but he's a good guy and he would have put up with whatever I frantically purchased in order to say, "Happy Father's Day"!  And then give him something wrapped.  I don't know about you but at my age, if I want something, then I buy it.  And I actually want less things.

And then it dawned on me...  My father is dead!  What the heck am I worrying about? My kids are older now and I can now pass all the Hall Mark anxiety onto them and make them neurotic!  The joy of parenthood!  I looked at my husband and said... "Hey, my father's dead...  I'm off the hook.  Tomorrow is their problem."  He just smiled...

And then my, "Happy It's Just Another Day" plan went into action.  My husband got a present of a weekend away with a friend in August to go wherever and do whatever they want...  I know for them it will include either biking until their legs almost fall off and hurt so much that they can justify those french fries at dinner... or riding their motorcycles to a new and exotic locale and the long ride and sore butt from sitting on their bikes justifies those french fries at dinner. 

And for me, I was really happy when I told my husband that he was to do whatever he wanted all day on this, "Happy It's just Another Day".  And he said, "Let's take a picnic to the beach."  I was happy to be included in his whatever you want to do all day plan.  We had fun.

It was a good way to rest up before the barbecue at our house at 4:00 pm where he cooked the hot dogs...

Ciao,

Anne

Something for parents to think about...

"A child arrived just the other day.

He came to the world in the usual way.

But there were planes to catch and bills to pay.

He learned to walk while I was away.

And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,

He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad.

You know I'm gonna be like you."  Cat Stevens

I throw this request out to you as Father's Day approaches...  spend some time in quiet thought.  None of us gets out of this parenthood gig without challenges...

"Nothing great can be accomplished without enthusiasm."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

My best to you,

Anne

PS. I will be away for the week... I am going to "fill up my cup" and attend a very inspiring conference in a very sunny place...  It is so easy to give, give ,give...The only way for me to have enthusiasm is to also replenish...  Ciao!

Growing Resiliency... Hear Anne interviewed on this Radio Show

"Growing Resiliency"...  How do you do that? 

Are we born resilient?  Can we learn how to be more resilient?  I think it is a little bit of both...  Whatever you think, I know we can agree that as parents, we want to know as much about this as possible.  We have to "bounce" with our life and family challenges AND we want to assist our children in... GROWING RESILIENCY.  This world is tough and we all need to develop the skills necessary to learn and move along.  What is the alternative?

Dr. Beth Erickson invited me onto her show MIRRORS OF THE SOUL on Healthy Life Internet Radio.  And you can listen as she and I chat about resiliency, what you can do to get more in your life and the life of your children. 

• This interview is an hour long and you can put your feet up and listen here.  {This will take you to www.healthylife.net } and
• then you click onto ARCHIVES and
• then onto Dr. Beth Erickson/ Mirrors of the Soul and
• scroll down to "Growing Resiliency" and my name...

Ciao,

Anne

Put a little "Kick Butt" in your Summer... Free Gift for Parents

Would you like to capture the clear, vibrant energy that spring inevitably brings to all of us? 

We invite you to have a “Kick Butt" Year whether you start in January or begin in June.  The important thing is that you have the tools you need to begin…  clear the clutter…  focus on what matters most and get going now!   

Make Sustainable Life Changes

Join Tracy Mindess and Anne Jolles, Life Coaches

For a fast-paced, idea and strategy-packed 60 minute free audio recording:

40 Strategies in 60 Minutes

We share great secrets for SUSTAINABLE change…

We are offering this great gift to parents of teens and young adults to start their summer off with a "Kick Butt" attitude.  This recording is 60 minutes long and you can listen to it whenever you have the time by clicking onto www.annejolles.com It will bring you to my web site and in the top right hand corner, you will be asked to enter your email.  After that, you start the audio recording, put your feet up, relax, listen and learn... 

As parents, we have so many things grabbing for our attention. How would it feel to get to the Fall and know you moved forward with what matters most to you?

Sending my "Kick Butt" best to all of the parents who just keep on trying...

You are my inspiration,

Anne

PS.  This audio was originally a teleclass that was so well attended that we decided to record it and offer it as a gift.  You get a chance to hear my voice and get to know how I work...  You can learn more about Tracy Mindess and all the gifts she shares with her clients.  This is helpful to those of you who are looking for a life coach, a parenting coach, or just want to find a coach who can bring a little "Kick Butt" back into your life...

Ciao