Teenagers... Why Don't They Care?

Welcome my friend, Jason Warnick, Director of Admissions at Hyde School in Woodstock, CT as our Guest Blogger.  Hyde is a college preparatory residential high school dedicated to family transformation and character development.  You can check out all that Hyde Schools have to offer at  www.hyde.edu.  It is a fascinating place. And here is what Jason has to say about, 

"Teenagers... Don't they Care?

Don’t they know:

• the choices they make now will affect their futures?
• what they do now is shaping who they will one day become?
• the grades they receive now will be scrutinized by college admissions offices?
• if they don’t get into a good college they may not get a good job and if they don’t get a good job they might not be able to support themselves and a family?

Yikes! So many parents are struggling with teenagers who just don’t seem to care. But here’s a little secret…come closer….listen …THEY DO CARE!

A few things get in the way:

1.  BEING COOL: It is not cool to care! In our youth culture today it is not that cool to be worried about your future. It is cool to chill. I like to chill myself, but I know that I stopped being cool a long time ago.

2.  SELF-ESTEEM: The kids who try the least, care the most! If a child believes in himself, then nine times out of ten, that child will try. It is when the child does not value his own abilities that he finds some benefit in the “I don’t care” attitude. I often ask kids, “If you could have any car, what car would you like to have?” Usually they say, “Ferrari” or “Porsche,” Whatever car they choose I then ask them, “If you got that car, would you eat McDonald's in it, spill milkshakes on the navigation system, sit on the hood or open the door into a fire hydrant?” The kids usually answer “NO WAY!” Then I ask “What if you had a 1983 Honda?” They usually have a different answer (no offense to Honda!) I often see kids treating themselves like old, beat-up Honda's when in actuality they are clearly Ferrari's! How frightening it can be to watch a Ferrari being driven like a bumper car!

3. YOU, the parents of teens!: If you worry more about your kid’s problems than your kids do, then they don’t have to!  If you will take care of your child's problems, why should he care?

After working with hundreds of teens, I know that…Teenagers DO care. They care about their futures, their friends, their success and failure, their lives and their families.

• Try to connect with your kids and respect the fact that they are figuring themselves out.
• Let them know that their struggles are their own and that you believe in them and in their ability to overcome.
• Let them know that they can ask for help anytime.
• Be understanding.
• Be honest.

Remember... even when they really want you to believe that they don't care... They  really do care."

Please respond to Jason's post by leaving your comments below. 

Thanks Jason... Lots to think about,

Ciao,

Anne

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