Welcome Loren Buckner, LCSW, parent, psychotherapist and author of her soon to be released book, "The Incredible Journey of Parenthood". Loren wrote the following note about parenting teens and loving and letting go and you can reach my friend Loren at lorenb@tampabay.rr.com with any questions or feedback
"Enjoying the Ride"
"Teenagers – can’t live with them, can’t live without them!
One reason this is such a trying time is the intensity of their emotions, along with our own feelings, seem practically impossible to handle. Their developmental process is all about defining themselves – which in many cases causes them to make choices diametrically opposed to the values we had been working hard to teach.
Teenagers attack family bonds as a means of separating and becoming more independent.
Understanding all this helps some, but it’s a hurtful, painful, messy process to be killed off and live to tell about it. Feeling their disdain, experiencing their rejection, hatred and hating them without retaliating is no simple task. Holding the line as they push against it takes nerves of steel.
Remember:
· You can love and hate at the same time and so can they.
· Be clear about your expectations
· Do your best to set limits.
· Holding the values of respect and self-restraint go a long way.
· Love unconditionally.
· Be a good listener.
· Laugh with them as often as you can
· And trust that the good ingredients of their childhood will eventually resurface.
This roller coaster ride of parenthood can be more terrifying than you imagined. So hold on and enjoy the ride!"
Thanks for sharing your wisdom Loren and good luck with your book! I am looking forward to reading it!
Ciao,
Anne
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