Drive Through Parenting Wisdom

New Year's Resolutions Are Loaded With... Cartoon

A Gift To You... Free Life Coaching Teleclass

Our Gift to Clients and Friends For the New Year ...

A Free Teleclass    

   

Kick the New Year's Resolution Trap

                     Make Sustainable Life Changes for 2007

Join Anne Jolles and Tracy Mindess, Life Coaches and Speakers   

for an idea-packed, fast paced and FREE Teleclass

{seminar on the phone} entitled      

"Kick 2007 into the Stratosphere

40 Strategies in 60 Minutes"

We'll share some secrets for sustainable change...

Date:  Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Time:  1:00 pm - 2:00 pm Est

How To Register:

• Send an email to:  abjcoach@comcast.net and

• Type "Register Me" in the subject

• At that time, you will receive your dial-in instructions for your Teleclass AND you will also receive another Gift that will move you close to where you want to be at the end of 2007.

Forward this to a friend so

they can create a kick-butt year too!

   

Is Fatherhood Being Outsourced?

USA Today  Tuesday, December 19, 2006  by Michelle Healy email betterlife@usatoday

"Fathers say their roles can be filled.

Today's fathers think they are replaceable, according to a telephone survey by the Natl Fatherhood Initiative.  Of the respondents, 53% agreed that absent an involved father, a "mother can be just as effective in preparing a child to be a well-adjusted and productive adult," and 57% agreed that, "a male role model, such as a teacher or family friend, can be an adequate substitute."  The survey questioned 701 men ages 18 and older with at least one biological or adopted child."

Wow... what do you think about that?  That is heart rockin' and sad news...  Are fathers selling themselves short?  Are they selling their kids out?  Or do you believe this?  Is this one of those conversations that is a self fulfilling prophecy?

What do some of you heart rocking fathers think about this? 

What do some of you heart rocking mothers have to say?

How about some heart rocking teens?

Something to think about as you do your holiday shopping:

How is a father a gift to their child?  teen?  young adult? old adult?

How are you outsourcing fatherhood?

Until next time,

Anne

A Joke For Parents of Teens

WHY PARENTS HAVE GRAY HAIR FOR THE MOMENT

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

This joke was sent to me by KC Christensen -Lang in her news letter "Virtual Moment of Joy"...

Sometimes life is not about what is happening as much as how it is being perceived...  A good perspective to play with...  and maybe a laugh is the best gift you will get today...  Pay it forward with a smile,

Ciao,

Anne

'Tis the Reason For the Season- Cartoon

3rd International Conference on Post Adoption Services

The Center for Family Connections Presents this conference and we are fortunate to have it hosted right here in Cambridge Massachusetts. 

February 19- 21, 2007

Hotel Marlowe, Cambridge, MA

This is a great resource for anyone touched by adoption.

"Join us to build a worldwide conversation about the extended Family of Adoption and to create understanding and change through dialogue"

I encourage all parents of adopted children or all adoptive parents {however you wish to be referred to} to check out their brochure at www.kinnect.org/training.html#action or www.kinnect.org or call 617.547.0909 and ask for details.

I will be a keynote speaker presenting "5 Steps for Bringing Your Best to the Next Moment"in a World Cafe Format and I would like nothing better than to be looking into the smiling faces and one of them be yours!

See you there,

Anne

C is for Challenge- Choosing and Creating Challenges

Thirty years ago I got on  a horse with friends and we went for a horse back ride together.  I had never ridden a horse before.  My fear was palpable and the horse knew it.  He laid down and tried to roll over with me on his back...  I walked back to the stable. 

I have spent many hours next to the riding ring encouraging my children at their lessons and generally enjoying being near horses- always with my feet on the ground.  There was a time when my son was thrown and I watched him get right back on that horse and keep riding.  I really admired that and was in awe how a little person could just climb back onto that huge animal and proceed.

There are 2 types of challenges in life-  The first are the challenges that we are given... we don't ask for them.  And the second are the type that we give to ourselves.  This is when we choose to challenge ourselves for enjoyment, growth or maybe to get ahead. 

Challenge is where your inner world and your outer world meet in action...

I never got on a horse again until my family and I traveled to Alaska.  Reading the travel brochure describe riding through the rainforests {there are rainforests in Alaska!} and tidal plains surrounded by glacial covered mountains made me re-examine my horse back riding history and the stories I had been telling myself that kept me firmly planted on the earth next to horses and not on them.  The only way to see this part of Alaska with my family, who all enjoy riding, was to get back on the horse.  I signed up for this excursion knowing I could always get off the horse and walk back to the stable... but that was not my plan.  At the riding trail, I met a compassionate guide who hitched me up with the most amazing animal who just put me at ease and took me for the ride of my life.  I had to put all my trust in him and that was what he felt on this ride.  This part of the trip was the highlight for me as you can see by my face above.  I was ecstatic.  Where else could I see those wild irises except in books?  My kids and husband encouraged me and I had the time of my life.

"A finished person is a boring person."  Anna Quinlan

• If you could give up trying to do "it" perfectly, what would you challenge yourself to do?
• If you knew that you could get off the horse and walk back to the stable when it did not work out as planned, what new challenge would you give yourself?
• If you could find an wise work horse who could walk you through your fear and into your vision, what would be possible for you?
• What would your teen encourage you to do to keep growing in your life?
• As a parent of a teen, what would you like to role model for your children?  Can you share your struggle with them?

Sending creative energy your way... grab it!

Anne

PS. Thank you to the photographer... Jon Jolles!

Gift Ideas For Teens and Older Children

Do you hear that giant sucking sound this holiday month?

  At no time in the year is the direction and flow of our energy and resources more apparent than during this holiday month.  I don't see many jolly parents of teens-  first earn it {hopefully}, then ponder, discuss and fret, shop, hide it, wrap it, and then fall on your face from exhaustion...  This holiday hysteria now seems to start before Halloween instead of after Thanksgiving!

There is an interesting inverse phenomenon going on with my holiday purchases for my older children...  The size of the items desired gets smaller as the price tag gets larger.  What fun it was to shop for younger children when when we could walk out of the store with arm loads of pink plastic stuff that did not cost that much.  What a big impact on those cute little faces...  and it made us feel so good to make them happy!  Now I can barely fill a stocking for the same amount of resources!

During this month, I try to keep in mind that one of the fastest growing industries in America is storage.  So, will my kids get everything that they want?  Definitely no...

Here aresome suggestions that are less intense resource sucking and consuming and more about connecting with your teen:

• A gift certificate to the movies {this is good even for those who are experiencing a rocky time in their relationship... not much talking required} for the 2 of you
• Gift card from a store so they can buy whatever they wanted at the much discounted price the day after the holiday
• Plan a trip or other adventure together and make that your entire gift.  Purchase small surprises for the holiday that will go along  on the adventure with you later.  Make the planning a fun time that can stretch on for awhile.
• 2 passes to get their laundry done by you {They do their own laundry, right?}
• A photo album, framed photo, calendar, or scrap book of special family times...  This will emphasize and remind your teen of what is going right in your home and their life.
• Write a letter to them that is not just about their accomplishments...  Make this letter about your child's strengths and WHO you see them being in the world...  This might mention a tough time they are having or have struggled through.  Talk about the strengths they needed and called on during that time that will help them as they grow into an adult whom you love and respect.
• Certificate for a movie rental and pizzas, at your home, when you are home, for a few of their friends.  You want to know their friends.  Don't hang out with them but be around.
• A pass that says, "You can call me during the night anytime and I will pick you up if you need to leave where you are.  You will not be punished and I will not interrogate you."  Teens will take risks and they will make mistakes... open the door for this discussion.
• Think about an interest or passion of your child's- something they enjoy and it could sustain them over the long haul...  Help them into that interest with equipment or lessons or gym memberships.  Maybe you can even take some of those lessons with them.
• Connect your teen with role models and people who can emphasize their strengths and see the best in them..  Sometimes during the teen years that may have to be someone other than  or in addition to you as parent-  karate lessons, personal trainer, scout leader, teachers, tutors...

What if we could do less for the storage industry this holiday season and more for connecting with our kids?  What can that look like in your home? 

What gift can you give that will do more that sit on the shelf by the next trend or stage?

How can you get yourself off the shelf and connect so next holiday your gift is still giving?

Try some of these ideas that don't deplete but may actually feed you and your relationship with your teen.  Adapt them to fit your values and home life.  Maybe instead of that big sucking sound we might hear something a little different.

It's all up to you,

Please write and send me some of your ideas for connecting.

Sending my best,

Anne

Ps.  Please check out www.thegraceseries.com and www.parentyourteen.com  for some good gifts to give yourself as the parent of a teen!

Makes Sense... Cartoon