Hi,
I asked my 15 year old daughter to read this and she said... THAT IS TOO LONG- NO ONE WILL READ THAT! I can't cut this down any more without cutting out the points!... please read it...
I went to this great lecture with 2 experts on adolescence... They shared newly discovered information on the developing brain of teens and how as parents we can impact our relationship knowing what teens and their vulnerable brains are going through. It was a great marriage of neuroscience and psychology and it answered for us parents,
"Oh my God, now that I know that what do I do?"
Do you know the most amazing part of the whole experience was?... how few parents were in attendance in the audience! I hope no one gets guilty with that revelation but it was true. I kept asking myself, where is everyone else?
That's why I started this blog... to get short snippets of information into the developing brains of parents so we can make different choices and stay centered in the reality of this amazing and sometimes brain numbing time in our families lives. My challenge is to keep it short enough to keep your attention and long enough to include what was said accurately and in a useful form. So you have to know I am leaving out chunks of great information in an attempt to get small pieces to you now...
Drive Through Wisdom will follow as I summarize what I think you might find informative and practical...
The presentation was Understanding the Development of the Adolescent Brain and it was presented by, Marisa Silveri, PhD a brain researcher from McLean Hospital and Barbara Green PhD a psychologist with many years experience with teens and families.
- Teen brains are experiencing exponential growth and restructuring and it is in the area of the brain involved in planning, impulse control, decision making and language.
- Adolescent brains are very vulnerable to chemicals
- Alcohol and drug use during these years changes and decreases the teen brain effectiveness, as seen and shown through brain images
- The earlier a teen starts to use, the higher the probability of addiction
- It is not known if the brain changes seen as a result of drug and alcohol use during these years is able to be made up for later... Which means that teens may actually have brain impairment as adults as a result of drug and alcohol use in their teens.
As parents of teens, we can positively impact our relationship with our teens and hopefully influence their choices around drugs and alcohol by:
- Eat meals together- there is research that confirms this! It is not an urban legend...
- Learn as much as you can about their decisions and help guide them through your healthy choices- You are their role model and they are watching you...
- Be patient... this teen stage goes on for many years
- Accentuate the positive- they will listen to you if you can frame it more positively
- Respect is a 2 way street- respect and like them as a person
- Enjoy your teens- they are zany and creative and fun. Find ways to have fun together
- Assist your teen in participating in activities for healthy forms of risk taking.
The most important thing of all... Where do you stand? Do you hear yourself saying?:
"Well, I did it and I lived."
"Drugs and alcohol are a rite of passage."
"Kids will be kids- there is really no harm as long as they are in a safe place while they are doing it."
Well, after this lecture... there is no safe place. Are those attitudes above a self fulfilling prophecy?
What if you drew a line in the sand that you did not tolerate use of drugs and alcohol during these years? Would that change your interaction and expectations and conversations and ultimately their choices?
Alcohol kills more young people than any other drug combined?
I feel like I am lecturing here and I do not want to. This info is compelling...
www.alcohol-info.com is a good resource for any of your questions,
My best to you,
Anne
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